OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
