They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
