We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
