sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
