how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
