So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
