you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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