Me. At least after what I've been through.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
