Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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