So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
