Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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