just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
