Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
