Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
