butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he was CRYING into my vagina
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
