I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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