There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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