Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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