All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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