Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
