i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize