ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
