id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
