what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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