i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
