i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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