I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
