woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The power of my boobs compel you
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
