When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you will always have a special place in my vag
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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