someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
