before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
