the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
