You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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