I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
