Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
