Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
