I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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