Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
