someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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