Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
