haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
