hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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