I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
where does the pee come out of this thing
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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