I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
