Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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