ugly people sure do ruin things
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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