your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
