FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
