Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
