it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Drunk walkin through police station. America
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Blood and glitter go together right?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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