She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
