every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
