the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize