kristin has been a bad kristin
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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