I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so let's talk penis.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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