Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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