remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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