Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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