yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
In other news, I just burned my penis
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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