I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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